🎬 Raising the Director: When Your Child Wants to Run the Show

If your child insists on assigning roles during pretend play (“You be the customer, I’m the shopkeeper”), rewrites the rules of every board game, or thrives when they’re in charge of something—congratulations, you may be raising a Director. And while it can feel like you’re constantly negotiating with a tiny CEO, this play personality is full of leadership potential.

As a mom who’s led teams and toddlers alike, I’ve learned that Directors aren’t trying to be bossy—they’re trying to understand the world by organizing it. And when we guide that instinct with empathy, we raise confident, collaborative leaders.

🎯 Who Is the Director?

Directors are natural planners. They love structure, strategy, and being in control of how things unfold. You’ll often notice:

·        A strong desire to lead group play or assign roles

·        Frustration when others don’t follow their “vision”

·        A love for games with rules, goals, and outcomes

·        Creativity paired with a need for order

They’re not trying to dominate—they’re trying to make sense of things. And when we support that, they flourish.

🧸 Toys & Activities That Let Them Lead

Here are some favorites that have worked beautifully in our home and align with the Director’s strengths:

·        Wooden Barber & Hair Salon Play Set from MaJolies: This set is a dream for Directors. They can assign roles, take appointments, and run their own salon—complete with wooden scissors, mirrors, and styling tools.

·        Board Games with Clear Rules: Choose games that involve turn-taking, strategy, and a clear winner. Directors love structure and thrive when they can plan ahead.

·        Pretend Store or Restaurant Setups: Let them create menus, price tags, and customer roles. Bonus points if they get to “train” others.

·        DIY Puppet Shows or Skits: Give them a stage (a blanket and couch will do) and let them direct the performance.

🧠 What They’re Learning (Even When It Feels Like Bossiness)

·        Leadership & Communication: They’re practicing how to express ideas and rally others.

·        Flexibility: With gentle guidance, they learn that great leaders also listen.

·        Emotional Intelligence: When we reflect their tone (“That sounded a little sharp—want to try again?”), they learn how to lead with kindness.

💛 How to Support Without Power Struggles

Here’s what’s helped me as a parent:

·        Offer structured choices: “Would you like to lead the game or help set it up?” gives them agency without chaos.

·        Model collaborative leadership: Let them see you lead with empathy—at home, in conversations, even during play.

·        Set respectful limits: “It’s okay to lead, but not okay to ignore others’ ideas.” Then help them practice listening.

·        Celebrate their strengths: Directors often feel “too much.” Remind them that their ideas matter—and so do others’.

Directors don’t just want to play—they want to create the experience. And when we nurture that with patience and structure, we raise kids who know how to lead with heart.

Let them plan the game. Let them run the show. Just remind them: the best leaders lift others up, too.

 

Reference: Play personalities framework by Dr. Stuart Brown helps explain how kids can engage in unique ways in activities. We can learn from it to make both play and work more enjoyable for our kids. https://nifplay.org/books/play-how-it-shapes-the-brain-opens-the-imagination-and-invigorates-the-soul/

 

Related Blogs on Play Personalities: 

The Thoughtful Builder

Imaginative Storyteller