Parenting with Personality in Mind: Tailoring Tantrum Strategies to Your Unique Child

Parenting with Personality in Mind: Tailoring Tantrum Strategies to Your Unique Child

As a mom who has juggled both the conference room and the playroom, I’ve learned that leadership at home often calls for even more flexibility, empathy, and resilience than any team meeting ever could. One of the most powerful parenting shifts I’ve made is moving from “What should I do?” to “Who is my child, and how do they need me to show up?”

Adapting tantrum-prevention strategies to your child’s unique personality is a game-changer. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach—and that’s a beautiful thing. When we tune in and tailor our responses, we help our kids feel seen and supported, which defuses power struggles before they begin.

For sensitive or anxious children

These kiddos often feel the world more deeply. Loud noises, sudden changes, or even a busy grocery store can leave them reeling.

Try this:

• Speak softly and give plenty of warning before transitions.
• Set up a quiet, cozy corner where they can breathe and regroup.
• Let them know what’s coming—use simple visual schedules or walk them through routines in advance.

These children thrive with predictability and gentle encouragement. Your calm becomes their anchor.

For strong-willed or independent children

They have a vision, and they want to drive the bus—even if they don’t know the route yet.

Try this:

• Offer frequent, safe choices to give them a sense of control.
• Stay consistent with boundaries, but always acknowledge their feelings.
• Turn problems into partnerships: “What do you think would help next time?”

The goal isn’t to “break” their will—it’s to channel that fire into something constructive. You’re coaching a future leader.

For high-energy or impulsive children

These kids have big feelings and even bigger wiggles. Sitting still or waiting patiently? That’s a tall order.

Try this:

• Give their body what it craves: movement! Regular activity and sensory play help them self-regulate.
• Use visual timers or picture cues so they can see what’s next.
• Teach calming techniques during quiet moments, not during the storm.

They may act fast, but they also bounce back fast. Patience and practice go a long way here.

For easygoing or quiet children

These little ones often seem unbothered—but they can bottle things up. Tantrums might surprise you because you didn’t see them coming.

Try this:

• Ask gentle questions to help them name their emotions.
• Use books or storytelling to explore feelings from a safe distance.
• Celebrate small moments of expression: “I’m proud you told me you were mad.”

Still waters run deep—stay connected, even when it seems like they’re fine.

Quick Reminders for Real-Life Parenting:

• Know your child’s personality—then adjust your approach with care.
• Calm tones, choices, routines, and connection go a long way.
• Teach skills during the calm, not just in the chaos.
• Every child can learn emotional resilience—it starts with us showing up differently.

As Dr. Rebecca Hershberg writes in her book “The Tantrum survival guide” – “tune into your toddlers mind and your own to calm the craziness and make family fun again.”

You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to know your child and love them in the ways they understand best.

References: Institute of Child Pyschology, Tania Johnson